Con (Part V)

There were things that changed immediately: how we ate, what we ate; Beth was meticulous and watchful of every single thing that went into my mouth even before the confirming blood-test ten days later.

She paced by the phone after that appointment, had been ready to drive back down to the lab to get the results herself when the phone rang and the voice at the other end told us what she already knew.

There were no more "lost weekends." With the exception of work for either one of us, I have to honestly say she devoted herself to me - and I felt horribly ill about ninety percent of the time and it wasn't simply the nausea and its accompanying joys- it was the horrible headaches as well.

For the first time during the entire time we'd been together, it was finally, finally, just us, just the two of us: no drinking, no strangers, none of the usual things that she always said needed, no crying jags or suicide attempts...

Beth was happy for once, really and truly happy, and things were almost like being eighteen again, vitamins and food - anything she could think of that would tempt me to eat.

She was loving, tender, she relished the changes in my body and was so very, very beautifully gentle when we loved...

But as wonderful as it was, I cried...almost every time.