It had been several years. I hadn't thought, spoke, not even dreamed, not a thing about her [I'm off you, baby, my blood's mine now] and it was good, so good to be clean.
Then...at the wedding of a mutual friend:
"C'mon, baby, you know how I feel - felt - about you."
[No, I never really did]
"You must have been pretty stupid, then."
[Yep, that was me, pretty and stupid: a landscaped vacant lot she'd driven around in dusty circles]
She caught my chin in her hands, fingertips a sensual cage as her lips drew closer. "I loved you. I still love you. Stupid."
She kissed the corner of my mouth, gently, softly, not quite the kiss she used to give. After all, things were different...now.
"I still wear your ring." She showed me. She wore it now on the other hand, in the position of friendship, and I watched as she switched it over, to the position that swore love.
[I'd forgotten about that. Forgot how I'd had it custom designed, the first real piece of jewelry I'd ever bought myself, the only piece since. Forgot how I was so drunk on wine and you, so wanted to see you smile, that I gave it to you, a piece of me, like all the others I gave. You gave me yours, an exchange, our left hands, the ring, the one that symbolizes friendship, loyalty, love, union, marriage. Your lips were full of wine and your tongue drenched in honey when you swore we'd always, always, be beautiful together. I didn't know then that lies were sweet]
She hugged me tightly then kissed my neck in that perfect, perfect spot she knew so well, the spot that always guaranteed my "yes" - or at least my "maybe." Then she begged me to come to her wedding.
To him. His initials were mine, his name similar, too. I promised I would - and didn't - my own would be three weeks later.
And now? That too was years ago, and since... There are days when my blood runs thick and dirty.
I love the intensity of this, JD. I've heard (from where I can't remember) that the emotional and the intelligent can't really exist in the same space. I never believed it...and now I have the proof! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed it. You know, I've never heard that before - can you expand a bit more on that? You know me, always curious about, well, everything! :-D
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm hooked, where's the rest? And how long do I have to wait...you know I have NO patience!! You are such a tease with these things. But I love every one of them. More Please!!!
ReplyDeletelove and hugs, Sue
lol - you won't have to wait more than 7 days for the start of the story, I promise! heck, there might even be some fun stuff in between - ya never know! :-D
ReplyDeleteExpand a bit, eh? Hmmm. Well, like I said, I can't remember where I heard it. But it was a few years ago...maybe in grad school. The way I've always made sense of it in my own head is to compare it to the whole "right brain vs. left brain" theory. They are not mutually exclusive...it's not that if one exists then the other does not (or cannot). It's sort of an inclination.
ReplyDeleteSo, if I'm remembering correctly (my brain is getting old), the idea was that as the cerebral becomes dominant, the emotional loses strength. And vice versa. I think of times that I've had highly emotional arguments - with my mother, with a girlfriend, etc. - and as the emotions became more heightened, the logic and intelligence that came out of me was lessened considerably. That's not to say I became dumb (though there are some who would argue that point). Just that the emotion took over.
So, what I see in the excerpt you have above is a beautiful combination of the two. I don't see one overriding the other...they exist together and feed off each other.
Does that make any sense at all? I think I might have confused myself. :-)
lol - it does make sense to me - but then again, it makes sense to me that at a certain level of intelligence, you're more or less susceptible to subtleties (depending on how the person chooses to go) with emotion as well. Hmmm...now I don't know if I'm making sense!
ReplyDeleteYou are! LOL
ReplyDeletehey JD. Lovely piece - bittersweet like good chocolate.
ReplyDeleteokay, now i see how this fits to the new piece and i see the story unfolding, but with you i'm never sure if i'm on your track my track or the story's track LOL! you always make me think about so many things when i read your writing.
ReplyDeletehence why X is still sitting my brain's not quite ready to tackle it yet. too many distractions still. i may have to go hid in the cave in order to read it.